But I Want It!

“But I want it!”

My five-year-old and I were having a discussion about what toppings she wanted to put on top of her waffle for breakfast. We did not see eye to eye.

She frowned, rejecting my suggestions of peanut butter and bananas or even butter and maple syrup. She had a definitive opinion about what she wanted for breakfast. She wanted her waffle topped with peanut butter, Nutella, bananas, chocolate chips, powdered sugar, and maple syrup. But as her mom, I knew that her choice would not give her the best nutrition and would probably give her a tummy ache. I knew what she needed was different that what she wanted, no matter how much she argued and protested.

And then that thought crossed  my mind …

I do the same thing to God.

For I know the plans…

As Christians, we like to quote the verse in Jeremiah 29 that says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) And if we’re honest, if we’re REALLY honest, sometimes we like to define what those plans are, what that future should look like.

We like to tell God what those plans should hold. They are Pinterest-worthy, Instagrammable plans for a picture-perfect future. A life with perfect hair, a clean and perfectly decorated house with a doting husband and angelic children.  A future with no pain, no suffering, no sickness.

I want God’s plans for me to match the desires of my heart.

My Father knows best

But as my Father, He knows best. He knows, far better than I do, that the desires of my heart are not always ultimately for my benefit. Much like my daughter’s desire for a sugar-laden breakfast, my desire for a smooth, easy life doesn’t help me grow to be more like Jesus. This promise of the plans He has for my life is true, even when my circumstances don’t resemble my version of these plans.

But, oh, it’s so hard to let go of your own plans and embrace the plans God has for your life! Especially when you’re a planner, like me, who loves planning the plans! And then when things don’t go as planned? It can be devastating.

Just trust me

As a mom, I want my kids to trust me. To trust my judgment. To trust that I have their best in mind. To trust my heart and my love for them.

And, my Heavenly Father wants that, too. He wants me to trust Him, to trust His judgment. To trust His heart and His love for me.

If I read further on in Jeremiah 29, I find how better to do just that. “‘Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’” (Jeremiah 29:12-13 NIV)

Seek me with all your heart

The more fully I seek Him, the more fully I know Him.

The more I know Him, the more I can trust Him.

The more I trust Him, the more I can embrace His plans for me.

Even if they don’t resemble my own plans for my life.

So, I ask myself, how can I seek Him more today? And, maybe you ask yourself that, too.

 

© 2019 Sara R Conley. All rights reserved.