So, let me ask you…what is your idol? Or even who is your idol?
Not in the sense of a celebrity crush or fandom scenario, but what is it that you chase after?
Merriam Webster defines an idol as “an object of extreme devotion” and “a representation or symbol of an object of worship.”
What is your idol? What is the thing that you revere so dearly, that you seek so tirelessly, that losing it is devastating?
And if you’re not sure if you have an idol in your life, ask God to show you. But, be prepared for the answer. It may not be pretty.
my idol
I hate to admit that I even have one at all. But, for the past year or so, God has been revealing my idol to me. And, it’s valuing others’ approval, others’ opinion of me more than I value God’s approval and God’s opinion of me.
And I thought I was free from it, or almost free from it. That is, until this past week.
Without going into the nitty gritty details, something was said about me, but not to me, that got back to me, and it wasn’t a good something. And while anyone would be upset about that kind of scenario happening to them, it was crushing to me.
And revealing.
As the dust settled, I began to see how, once again, I have this duality in my heart – chasing after God, and yet still pursuing others’ approval. I wanted God’s approval, but I wasn’t content until I had others’ approval too. I can see now that I did this as a child, too. Getting my parents’ approval and yet not fully believing their affirmations unless they were corroborated by outside opinions, too. (Sorry, Mom and Dad.)
This internal struggle runs far back. For so many years, part of me has been worshiping, chasing, coveting others’ affirmations.
A divided heart
But, I know I’m not unique in this, in my divided heart. In Genesis 31, we find that Rachel struggled with this, too.
Let me catch you upon her backstory. She married Jacob, marrying into the line of Abraham and his blessing, and watched her sister have seven children while she herself struggled with infertility, only to have God remember her and give her a son. Then God proceeds to greatly bless her husband, giving him great wealth and livestock.
At this point, her husband comes to her, along with her sister, and tells them that God has instructed him to return to Canaan, his homeland. And she agrees that they should go, that they should do what God has told them to do.
So, they pack up all of their things – the servants, the children, the livestock, the possessions. And, they set out to journey back to Canaan. But in the midst of the packing, Rachel grabs her father’s household gods and hides them in her belongings.
For you see, Rachel wasn’t raised knowing the one true God, as Jacob had been. She had spent her entire life devoted to other gods. And while she was ready and willing to follow Jacob’s God, she wasn’t entirely ready to give up the gods she had worshiped for so long. She had valued and treasured these objects, these idols, for her whole life. And when faced with leaving them behind, she was not able to fully relinquish them. Even after seeing all that God had done for her.
Finally, surrender
Later on in her life, Rachel eventually gave them up. She, along with others, surrendered the idols and other items used to worship foreign gods. They buried them under a tree, and went up to Bethel to build an altar and worship the Lord God. The God of Jacob. Of Isaac. Of Abraham.
Perhaps after seeing more and more how much God was enough, how His provision was ample, how much He cared. Perhaps then she was able to completely relinquish, to fully surrender, to devote her whole heart, her whole self to the one true God.
There’s hope for me, too
And that gives me hope.
Hope that one day, some day I can fully surrender my idols. That my heart can wholly worship the one true God. Because that’s what my heart truly desires – to be fully surrendered and fully free.
I’ll ask again.
What is your idol? And are you ready to surrender it?